Holy Bagel Pickup Line
As a 18 year old in my year in Israel, I remember being at this Gan Sacher concert/rally and noticed this extremely attractive chassidic girl - she was frummer - way frummer - and honestly I had no way of talking to her. Surrounded on all sides by other chassidic gals, an iron wall of tznius, and a modern dude with a srugi going over to her to talk in my mind would be considered assur m’dough raisa. Instead of manning up, I had to ‘bagel up’ - or go frummer then I typically am - so that she will know I am holding in Torah, and of course in bageling.
Bagel Theory Rule: Everyone knows you always bagel up frummer than you are.
I walked up and completely froze - our eyes met - the only thing I could think of is, which to this day, I’ve never once asked: ”Excuse me miss, do you know what time shkiah is?”
She smiled and nodded. I stood awkwardly and walked away. I am not sure she even spoke English or knew what I was saying but to this day she still is the bagel wrapped around my heart.
-seth
