Doodie Miller, Director of Operations at YU’s University School Partnership, and bagel theory inventor, entertained the YU Champions Gate Conference last weekend in Orlando with a brief explanation/stand-up routine of the origins of Bageling.
If you were there, it was one of the more light hearted presentations of the weekend (the only things funnier were rabbi horowitz/gary rosenblatt panel discussion and Rabbi Brander’s lack of knowledge about Rabbi Sobolofsky’s body piercings) but certainly one of the more memorable, as it seemed to resonate with the +400 Jewish leaders in the room, and helped spread the gospel of the Bagel Theory.
We invite everyone to send in their bageling stories - the future of the Jewish People is banking on bageling!
My brother, Ephraim and I were at the Christopher Reeve Foundation charity dinner and both of us were wearing our yarmulkas. Robin Williams came up from behind and put his hands on our shoulders and said “Don’t worry boys, I just came from the kitchen and your kosher meals will be ready soon!” Now that’s a star studded bagel!
As a 18 year old in my year in Israel, I remember being at this Gan Sacher concert/rally and noticed this extremely attractive chassidic girl - she was frummer - way frummer - and honestly I had no way of talking to her. Surrounded on all sides by other chassidic gals, an iron wall of tznius, and a modern dude with a srugi going over to her to talk in my mind would be considered assur m’dough raisa. Instead of manning up, I had to ‘bagel up’ - or go frummer then I typically am - so that she will know I am holding in Torah, and of course in bageling.
Bagel Theory Rule: Everyone knows you always bagel up frummer than you are.
I walked up and completely froze - our eyes met - the only thing I could think of is, which to this day, I’ve never once asked: ”Excuse me miss, do you know what time shkiah is?”
She smiled and nodded. I stood awkwardly and walked away. I am not sure she even spoke English or knew what I was saying but to this day she still is the bagel wrapped around my heart.
Hopped on the elevator with my monster Starbuck’s Frappacino in tote as I was in a hurry to get to my office, running my usual 20 minutes behind. Starbucks took forever. Or so I rationalize to myself as to why I was late. Random guy on the elevator eyes the frap and mentions that those things have a cup of sugar in them to which I smile and nod as a subtle way to agree with him. Then he goes to the bagel… ‘I didnt know the fraps at starbucks were kosher?”
On our honeymoon in Rome, we were standing at the top of the Spanish steps next to a middle-aged couple holding a map. The husband piped up in an obvious voice, “I wonder where the synagogue is.” My husband and I exchanged a knowing look at this classic Roman bagel and proceeded to strike up a conversation with this lovely couple from Chicago. After we took them to the synagogue, they asked to join us at the kosher pizza shop. As we savored the cheeseless arugula and shaved beef pizza — to this day the best pizza I have ever had — this non-religious couple marveled at traveling kosher and declared they would do so in the future. A satisfying bagel to be sure.
An early bagel favorite occurred when my kippah-wearing husband and I were dating, and we spent a Saturday evening at a funky coffee house with friends. We engaged in a few boisterous rounds of Boggle, the game where you must quickly make words out of jumbled lettered cubes. Observing our fun, a couple of college students at a nearby table asked if they could play too. After we rattled the tray and furiously scribbled our words, it was time to read our lists aloud. One of the students, who sported a rasta hat and goatee, proudly listed the word “yad.” Unsuspecting, we inquired, “What’s a yad?” He said with a smirk, “You know, that pointer you read the Torah with.” Yes, we were bageled at Boggle.
