August 2010
17 posts
2 tags
Uh, sure I speak Hebrew
Was on the subway late on a Friday (read within the 18 minutes) when a 20 something year old boy and girl walk over to me on the subway and smile. I’m definitely gonna get bageled and these people look foreign/european. I’m prepared as I look up from my intense brickbreaker game. Suddenly there is a rapid fire sentence of Hebrew - and if it wasnt for the fact that I was too excited in...
Excuse Me, Do you know what day yam k'poor is?
- hottest girl in my office in the hallway.
2 tags
"So, do you listen to Matisyahu?"
- JFK Security officer while frisking me down and opening up my tefillin boxes….
Bageling on the Subway
No words needed in the morning. (And if someone does try talking to you in the morning they should be chayiv misa)
No matter how packed the train car is, just break out your pocket siddur (girls), or pocket rashi chumash (guys) and move your lips in that way only Jews and/or crazy people can do.
Consider yourself bageling.
On the boardwalk
Occasionally I will walk to shul on shabbos on the boardwalk and take in the beautiful and now infamous ‘Jersey shore’ on a saturday morning, easily it’s most busy day. Because bikes are not allowed after 10AM the drag, from the end of Margate through the Atlantic City casino row, is a mob scene of casual bikers, joggers, runners and walkers.
For those who do not know, Atlantic...
Bageling Spanish Style
A few years ago my wife and I attended a conference in Puerto Rico that lasted over shabbos. What to do on a beautiful shabbos afternoon in PR? We grabbed a few sodas/waters from our room, a couple of novels & headed out to sit by the pool & enjoy a shabbos afternoon relaxing stretch.
No sooner had we gotten comfortable than a few young kids in bathing suits (“kids” seem to...
Berkshires Bagel
Many years ago my wife and I were vacationing with another couple in the Berkshires and we were enjoying a moment in the sun, just sitting on the grass in a park. An older couple walked by, and, noticing the kippot on the heads of both me and our friend Dov, leaned over and said sympathetically: “You’re going to have a hard time finding a kosher restaurant around here,” before...
Put on your Yarmulke...
My brother-in-law and sister were invited to attend a Yankees game and were privileged to be seated in the Legends Suite area. Apparently, it is but one step removed from Olam Haba if you are a baseball fan. It is for the elite and the opulence is ridiculous. Between one of the innings, my brother-in-law, who was wearing his yarmulke (and has a short beard) went up to the area where the open bar...
Triple Bagel in Cozumel
My wife and I were in Cozumel as our last stop on a Caribbean cruise. We were checking out jewelry and a salesperson said you’ve got to talk to our manager. I thought, here comes the old fashioned hard core sales technique when the manager comes over and asks in Hebrew if we need a place for Shabbos! We did not but got the location of a new Kosher restaurant for lunch. We then caught a...
Grand Canyon
My brother and I were at the Grand Canyon when we noticed a man wearing black pants and a baseball hat, with 5 boys all wearing baseball caps. His wife had a skirt. We walked over and said “Shalom Alaichem reb yid” He turns to me and said “how can you tell?”
- Mordy
Bageling @ Yeshiva University's Champions Gate...
Doodie Miller, Director of Operations at YU’s University School Partnership, and bagel theory inventor, entertained the YU Champions Gate Conference last weekend in Orlando with a brief explanation/stand-up routine of the origins of Bageling.
If you were there, it was one of the more light hearted presentations of the weekend (the only things funnier were rabbi horowitz/gary rosenblatt...
A Star Studded Bagel
My brother, Ephraim and I were at the Christopher Reeve Foundation charity dinner and both of us were wearing our yarmulkas. Robin Williams came up from behind and put his hands on our shoulders and said “Don’t worry boys, I just came from the kitchen and your kosher meals will be ready soon!” Now that’s a star studded bagel!
Doodie
Holy Bagel Pickup Line
As a 18 year old in my year in Israel, I remember being at this Gan Sacher concert/rally and noticed this extremely attractive chassidic girl - she was frummer - way frummer - and honestly I had no way of talking to her. Surrounded on all sides by other chassidic gals, an iron wall of tznius, and a modern dude with a srugi going over to her to talk in my mind would be considered assur...
WatchBageling by Mrs. Lori Palatnik for Aish.com
Starbagelled Frap
Hopped on the elevator with my monster Starbuck’s Frappacino in tote as I was in a hurry to get to my office, running my usual 20 minutes behind. Starbucks took forever. Or so I rationalize to myself as to why I was late. Random guy on the elevator eyes the frap and mentions that those things have a cup of sugar in them to which I smile and nod as a subtle way to agree with him. Then he...
3 tags
When in Rome...Bagel
On our honeymoon in Rome, we were standing at the top of the Spanish steps next to a middle-aged couple holding a map. The husband piped up in an obvious voice, “I wonder where the synagogue is.” My husband and I exchanged a knowing look at this classic Roman bagel and proceeded to strike up a conversation with this lovely couple from Chicago. After we took them to the synagogue,...
Bageled at Boggle
An early bagel favorite occurred when my kippah-wearing husband and I were dating, and we spent a Saturday evening at a funky coffee house with friends. We engaged in a few boisterous rounds of Boggle, the game where you must quickly make words out of jumbled lettered cubes. Observing our fun, a couple of college students at a nearby table asked if they could play too. After we rattled the tray...